Posts Tagged ‘Vagina’

How to go down on your lady

Line drawing of a Kiss

Image via Wikipedia

Here’s some tips for pleasing your woman:

1) Take your time getting down there. Women love it when you get them warmed up first, so start with some foreplay. When she’s naked, or at least pantless, kiss and stroke your way down her body. And when your head is positioned between her legs, don’t start the heavy lapping. Instead, tease her a bit by gently kissing her pussy lips, or a slight inhale to move the air around her clit and get her nerve endings prickling.

2) Don’t stick your tongue in her vagina. After some tongue action on the clit she might be receptive to the use of fingers or toys to stimulate the g-spot, of course depending on her mood and sensitivity. But no matter how awesome your tongue work, it will be lost on the vagina.

3) Tongue circles around her clit. Go slow and soft at first.

4) Pay attention to her responses. If she likes it she’ll moan during or just after. Other signs are: leg shaking, muscle clenching, heavy breathing or sighing. When she’s really into it she might grab on your head or move your head into just the right spot. Chances are she won’t hurt you, but let her know if she does. If she gives you verbal directions, TAKE THEM. It’s not an insult. She’s teaching you how to please her, be grateful and follow directions. If she’s laying there doing nothing, breathing normally, pay attention to that too. Either you need to have a talk about her enjoyment of oral sex, or you’re not doing what she likes.

5) Take her whole clit in your mouth and give a light suck. Move your tongue up and down over the clit. Try moving side-to-side, or tilt your head to the side and keep with the up and down motion. Some women like what’s called the ‘alphabet trick’, where you spell her name with your tongue.

6) Take your time and explore. Enjoy the pussy. Figure out what she likes. Tease her a little.

7) Try something a little different to change things up.

a) Softly hum while sucking on the clit or when your tongue hits a sensitive spot.

b) Speed up for a few moments, getting her worked up, before returning to slow.

c) Squeeze her thighs while increasing pressure on the clit. This sense of urgency can sometimes help her get off. Or, you can just use it to tease her

8.) When you want to start bringing her to climax, increase tongue speed. Keep the climax move consistent, it might take her a minute or two to fully cum, but she needs that pressure to hit her clit the same way that whole time. Try to regulate your breathing so that you keep stimulating her, but you’re not holding your breath.

9) Try moving your tongue up and down while moving your head side to side. Rock into her slightly, motions that are similar to sex will help keep her focused on the orgasm. Or, if you’ve ever played a wind instrument like trumpet or saxophone, try to play the clit the same way while moving your head side to side.

10) The clitoris is very sensitive just after orgasm, so be ready to stop when she’s finished cumming. Some women can pause for a moment and begin the build up to a second orgasm. Work towards making her multi-orgasmic. Afterward, let her rest and she’ll eventually return the favor.

Things to be aware of:

Not all women can orgasm viz oral sex. Some women are insecure about oral because they’ve had bad experiences in he past. That being said, don’t assume the problem is her. Take your time, get plenty of practice, and listen to what her body is telling you. Afterward, ask her what parts she liked and which parts you can improve upon.

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V is for Vagina

Over the years I have learned to love my vagina. It’s been hard finding love for my vagina when it seems like the media is trying to tell me how awful it is having one. The TV tells me that my vagina is dirty and smelly, it needs to be douched and powdered, sprayed and diapered. Summer’s Eve tells women that they can’t be confident and get a raise when their vagina’s are smelly. Tampon commercials compare having your period to shitting in a diaper. Birth control adds tell us that having so many periods is unnecessary, and come with nasty side affects like being emotional.

Sometimes my vagina makes me angry. I understand the frustration of trying to insert a dry wad of cotton up my twat. Pads can be a pain, and mood swings are a bitch. But I can’t hate my vagina. Tampons could come with an easy insert lube. I don’t mind being emotional for a few days in a world where business, accomplishing the task at hand, is expected to come before my own well being. I’ve never had a yeast infection, and I’ve never had to use any douche or freshness wipe to feel good about myself. Pads feel nothing like diapers. And my vagina does have a smell. It’s not the smell of tulips, but it’s not a bad smell. It smells like me. I am my vagina, and my vagina is me. I love me and my vagina.

When I was first becoming sexually active, I couldn’t talk to my mother about my vagina. So like any nerdy girl, I turned to books. I had heard about The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler, and I found it at the local bookstore. As I read the first short story, “Hair”, a light turned on. The clouds parted and a choir of angels sang out as I read this revelation, so simple yet elegant and self evident. ‘Hair is there for a reason-it’s the leaf around the flower… You can’t pick the parts you want.’ ‘You cannot love a vagina unless you love hair.’ My body grew hair down there for a reason. Hair is there to protect me. Hair is a part of me, and anyone who loved me or my vagina would have to love hair too.

Waxing and shaving have become the new “it” topic in the media. Men are getting the idea that women with no vaginal hair are the norm. Most female porn stars go hairless nowadays. A few years ago, celebrities were getting caught in upskirt photos that showed that they had no hair down there. Sex and the City tackled the issue in the series and in the first movie. In the movie, the character Miranda is wearing a bathing suit and she’s snarked on for not getting a bikini wax, and she takes offense at the implication that her unattended bikini line is a symptom of her unattended sex life. It perpetuates the idea that if you want to make your man happy with a normal sex life, you must wax.

I’ve tried waxing the hair off my vagina. The first few days were lovely. The skin around my vagina and on the pubic mound was silky and smooth. I couldn’t help but think about sex as my clothes rubbed on the sensitive skin. I loved being able to see my vagina, it’s quite lovely.

And then the fourth day came. Receiving oral sex was itchy and painful, it felt like my boyfriend’s beard was rubbing me raw. The hair itched under the skin as it grew back, and I broke out in red friction bumps. I couldn’t even wear granny panties because the elastic in the leg holes rubbed my skin wrong. When I got my period, there was no hair to keep the blood in place. It traveled up against gravity to stain the front of my underwear. Shaving was worse, pretty much all the bad stuff with none of the good.

I’ve made my pubic hair decision. I’ve weighed the good and bad. Now think about your decision. Why are you bare? Why is there hair down there? Every woman gets to make her own decision, but why do you make your decision? Are you using words like dirty or unclean to explain? Try injecting words like beautiful and pretty.